Why I’m Here
I was told I needed to be stronger than you, faster than you. I needed to do more reps than you, finish in a faster time than you. I needed to start sooner than you and last longer than you. I needed to have more muscle and more tone than you.
In 2017, I worked towards those goals for three months in hopes of finally becoming a personal trainer at my favorite studio. Ultimately, I was turned down because I “wasn’t bitchy enough.”
It would be a full 8 months before I would try again. And throughout these months, I questioned everything. Can I be a personal trainer if I’m not the strongest and fastest in any given room? Is there such a thing as a trainer without a chiseled six pack?
Wrongly assuming the answer was no, I trained harder, ate even less… until I completely burned out. I remember barely finishing a workout filled with things I despised and concluding that someone will always be better than me, so what’s the point?
In that moment, I finally asked myself the right question: “WHY do I want this so much?”
Very little about my answer had much to do with my physical ability or appearance. I never wanted to be a trainer because I felt I was the fastest or the strongest or any other superlative. So, not surprisingly, my tunnel vision left me feeling unsuccessful and unfulfilled time and time again. I was so focused on my workouts and my nutrition that I had lost sight of the other 80% of what makes me, me.
And that’s when my why smacked me square in the face.
I want to help clients find movement that serves as a stress relief, not a stress source. I want to guide clients towards being more mindful of what they consume without allowing the process to completely consume them. I want to show clients that it’s possible to prioritize fitness and nutrition without sacrificing the many other things that are important to them. I want to bring a whole new meaning to the phrase “health and wellness”.
You should know that I’m not a coach who is overly positive and peppy, constantly jumping from workout to workout, from grilled protein to green smoothies, rattling off motivating clichés nonstop like the Energizer Bunny. Instead, I openly share the obstacles I face, both past and present, because I know you’re facing your own, too. Because I know that living a life dedicated to yourself AND to your other obligations is hard. Because I know that it’s okay to rest, it’s okay to have days where you don’t love your body, it’s okay to prioritize other forms of physical or mental stimulation outside of the gym.
Most importantly, I remain committed to learning and helping you work towards your why. I coach you both inside and outside of the gym and kitchen, not letting you forget your why, and ensuring that you always remember that your wellness is why I’m here.
In Grind+Wine,
Ashley
