To Whomever Needs to Hear It: Your Body Is Not the Problem
Raise your hand if you’ve ever looked at a photo you just took and thought, “Oh my goodness, I look awful!”
Keep your hand up if you’ve ever seen that exact same photo months, maybe even years later and thought, “Wow, I remember hating that photo, but I actually look pretty good!”
And finally, keep raising your hand if that thought was immediately followed by, “I wish I looked like that now!”
I imagine that there are a lot of hands up right now. I know because I’ve been there!
Now let’s put our hands down and think. If you hate your “now body” now, and you hated your “then body” then… Why on Earth do you now long for your “then body” that you hated so much?
Spoiler: it’s because your body has never been the true problem. The problem has been your mindset.
When your mindset is so influenced by hate, everything becomes harder. Family gatherings aren’t fun when you hate the way you look so much that you’re worried about your food intake and doing everything you can to avoid being photographed. Grocery shopping is even more of a chore when you hate the way you look so much that you’re walking past your favorite foods and only buying things you think you “should” eat. Going out to dinner loses its luster when you hate the way you look so much you’re thinking about how many calories you have to burn before and/or after to break even. Working out is dreadful when you’re only doing it because you hate how you look so much that you force yourself to try to change your appearance.
And after all of the effort, all of the diets, all of the meal plans, all of the exercise challenges, new clients often come to me exhausted and defeated, saying, “I’ve tried everything, but nothing works.”
The truth is, it doesn’t work because you can’t hate yourself to a version of you that you love.
Let’s say Alyssa, a made-up example person, thinks she needs to lose weight, so she cuts out her favorite food group: carbs. No more bread, pasta, or baked goods. No more “something sweet” to end the day. Instead, she replaces bread with lettuce, pasta with cauliflower, donuts with a walk around the block, and nightly dessert with plain greek yogurt.
Alyssa does a perfect job following this plan Monday-Friday. Then Saturday comes along, and she has dinner with friends in her calendar. Her first thought is to bail on the plan all together out of fear of losing her “healthy” streak. But, she knows that she hasn’t seen these friends in a while and that her absence could be perceived as hurtful. So, she devises Plan B: Workout for an hour in the morning, make a green protein smoothie last all morning and afternoon, and then show up to dinner hungry and ready.
Because she is so hungry and so ready, Alyssa wastes no time taking three slices of bread from the bread basket and orders the cheese ravioli for an entree. She earned it, right? Little does she know that the portions at this restaurant are huge, and she soon is facing a plate of ravioli big enough for three people. Alyssa really, really misses carbs. She also really, really doesn’t want to bring home leftovers and “ruin” tomorrow’s diet, too. So Alyssa eats it all.
Alyssa comes home feeling ill. But what outweighs the uncomfortable fullness is the guilt. She not only broke her perfect week streak, but she overdid it. To ease the guilt, she decides that she will workout first thing tomorrow to burn as much of the meal off as possible, and then she will cut out all carbs and only eat lean protein and veggies for the foreseeable future.
Spoiler: Alyssa goes on to repeat this restrictive-overindulgent-restrictive pattern often, and she continues to use exercise as a punishment.
Alyssa will likely never achieve the body she loves this way.
Why? Because hating her body leads her to disrespect her body. Cutting out carbohydrates is cutting your body off from its biologically preferred source of fuel. Frequently skipping meals interferes with your mental and physical bodily functions and can have a long term impact on your hormones and metabolism. Overindulging can just simply be painful. And using exercise as punishment further harms your relationship with your body.
You can’t hate, or disrespect, yourself towards a version of yourself that you love and respect.
So the next time you’re looking at yourself, or should I say, picking yourself a part in the mirror, try to remember that it’s not your body that’s the problem. It’s your mindset.
What’s one way that you can work towards improving your mindset today?
If you need help getting started, that’s what I’m here for. I have helped many people improve their relationship with food, exercise, and their body’s. Click here to schedule your complimentary, no-strings-attached consultation today!
